September 24, 2008 - Wednesday these will be the 1st to go when i go mental

September 24, 2008 - Wednesday

these will be the 1st to go when i go mental
Current mood: angsty
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
list one

oh, these are the people in your neighborhood

1) the person who felt the need to honk and yell for the person he was waiting for. this was at 8 am. die please.
2) my next door neighbor with the mid life crisis motorcycle. he takes this to work at 5:30am sometimes.
3) his wife who takes he yap yap dogs to piss on my shed. i am training my kitten to attack them.
4) the kids who knock at my door. i don't want my lawn cut by a 4th grader. you go to my son's school, don't you think if i wanted to participate in that fundraiser i would have bought from him? no i haven't seen your dog, he is probably trying to avoid you too.
5) the guy with the bass loud enough for a 50-cent party. i can feel it from a mile away; in my teeth. i have seen motorhead (who are one of the recognized loudest bands) and they seem quiet next to this guy. i have lived near the new castle airport. the concord, with its sonic boom, is the only thing that can compare.
6) the maintenance man who stole my vietnamese bamboo wind chimes, that give my home the much needed apocalypse now ambivalence. he did this in full view of my neighbors, who told me and the office.
7) the office, for not doing nothing. i subtracted the price of the chimes, plus pain and suffering for that month's lot rent. the next month they sent me an invoice. i also hate the fact, that they have new management like twice a year. usually cos they keep getting caught doing illegal things.
8) the fat kid, who rides close on his bike, near my house and slows down when my kitten is out playing. this kid has the height and weight of alf. i fear he will eat toki!!!
9) the religious pamphlet people. i save all the junk mail, pamphlets, and wind shield wiper flyers and give these out to solicitors. the windshield people get a nice packed of junk mail mailed to them. my junk for your junk.
10) the crack heads who come to my door at all hours. one guy cut my lawn on his own accord & demanded $20 for the job. i told him to get a stepping before dover's finest got here. i have people come up and demand my pennies, canned vegetables, motor oil, gas, tires, beverages, formula, cigarettes, aspirin, and condoms. one summer it was so bad, i had to print out the mapquest to the shire stop down the corner, whom they were obviously mistaking us for. i had a no solicitors sign, but either they can't read around here, don't understand what it means, or just don't care.

list 2
reach out and touch someone

1) telemarketers, i am on the national do not call database. it is illegal to call me more than once. do not ask for the man of the house, as per he does not make financial decisions with out me.
2) if you are to dial the wrong number, please check your number and dial again. if you get me twice, do not act as if it is my fault. i have had this number for five years, if your uncle was really that close, you would have realized his number changed some time back. if that girl really wanted you to call, she would have given you her real number.
3) if you call for me speak. i don't like carrying the majority of the conversation and it is taxing to my patience for you to try to keep me on the line when i want to wrap up the call. call me when you know what you want.

list 3
the world wide web

1) spammers. i do not want to increase my penis size. i am happy without a mortgage. i do not want to attend the university of phoenix online.i have no friends or relatives in africa, especially any with a large fortune that you need my social and bank info to retrieve for me. i do not want cheap mexican pharmaceuticals (ok that was a lie). if i want it, i will contact you.
2) robots. i don't want to accept any friend requests from people i don't know and i can tell my friends are largely not adult models. there are the rare few, but i love them anyway.
3) people who post any old retarded thing on a thread just so they can brag that they were 1st on it.
4) buttons and banners, that are labeled as one thing, to misleadingly take you to another.
5) viruses, trojan horses, malware, spyware and other shite. i can barely afford my computer & i need it for college soon. send that shit to the credit card companies and other bad guys, thanks.
6) aol
7) elitists online. you snub everything, as if you have access to the finest things in life and you must laugh at our plebeian attempts of bettering our monkey asses. we know you are really living in your mom's basement , eating spaghetti-o's out of the can, sitting their in your darth vader underoos, even though you're 35, with your hand down the front. yes you truly had made it.

list 4
is this your first public appearance?

1) don't hover for my parking space. i could have just pulled in too and may be readjusting my parking job, i could be just dropping off bags, maybe i want to eat my burrito in my car, perhaps i need to make a phone call, or i may just be waiting for the rest of my party. i don't care if my eggs are cooking in their shells, the milk turned to cottage cheese and my ice cream has melted, but if you honk at me, i will sit in my car until you leave and park elsewhere.
2) please come out fully dressed, in seasonally appropriate clothes, in a proper size, and is a reasonable attire for your shape and age. i do not want to see cootchie cutters, 2 sizes too small, on a pear shaped grandma, in the winter.
3) please respect our town and its inhabitants.
4) rules and regulations are for our own safety. when i worked at kmart, there was a man who walked in smoking a cigarette. i had asked him to put it out. the anti-smoking law had just passed and many stores had this rule in effect since the eighties or earlier. cigarettes just make burn holes in merchandise. his response was that he bought 'em here and was gonna use 'em here, to which i reminded him that we sold condoms and he was sure the hell not using them here either.
5) public drunkedness is not cute. whenever the races come into town, i would always be asked at work to come out drinking drinking with them. it had looked like they had already started with out me, hours ago, and it is noon.
6) wal-mart is not a social gathering. i am mad enough i have to be shopping there, so stop blocking the aisle, do not jam me with your cart, and if you favor your life, do not talk about me in my prescence. i will hurt you. badly.
7) a car is a prilege, so is driving. please don't drive in a manner to get it revoked. you will hurt someone in the process, probably your 2 year old, in which you do not have strapped in.
8) you do not know my son, do not lay your hands on him or you will not walk away from here.
9) don't hit women and/or children and let me find out about it. you will never walk again.
10) guns are for hunting or defense, not the mall. just cos we have the right to right to bear arms means you should.
11) this list could go on forever.




Currently watching:
Sealab 2021 - Season 2
Release date: 2005-02-01